Dah tido takorang? Hmm panas nya malam tok eh. Plus aku dah tido petang tek ya mata tang eksen jak sikmok lelap. Huhu
Btw, banyak jak barang dipikey ku tok. Haish macam tek tahun 2013 tok rasa macam sik memberi aku kepuasan. ( note : hidup manusia nang sik pernah puas pun. Dasar. - nganok dikpun pfft! ) -,-" aku sik tauk la gne kehidupan takorang, maybe ada yang lebih senang dari aku, or jauh lebih susah dari aku. Maybe takorang ingat aku sik tauk bersyukur. Nope. I'm thankful for I have my family and friends plus a wonderful boyfriend. I'm just not happy being myself. With what I have now, how I'm living my life, just myself. Weird? No. I don't think so.
You have your own thoughts about life and I have mine. I'm just saying.
I am not saying that I am unhappy to the level that aku mok molah benda bodo, gik ingat Tuhan ku tok koh.
Yes, maybe. No. Not maybe. Yes, Aku ingat Tuhan but then, I think I'm running away from Him. In which, I shouldn't. "Dekat dekatkan la diri dengan Tuhan. Rajin berdoa. He will show you the way" pesan my mom tiap kali balit rumah. Yes mom. I know. Just that aku rasa dirik macam sik layak jak.. Kelak betobat tapi sik lamak. Macam mempermainkan Tuhan la pulak.. Segan. Asal dalam kesusahan jak bok ncarik, asal senang benda duniawi jak dilayan. Ahh. Susah na juak idup oh?
Okay. Agak over statement aku tok but I'm really hoping for a better me next year. Aku yang lebih bait bak kata aku ngan cousin (Bulan) and my best friend (Donna) masa lepak petang tadik. Tetak eksen jak tek but actually I really mean it. Sapa la sikmok jadi orang yang bait bait bah nak? You might be thinking, kenak mesti next year bok mok berubah? Kenak sik kinek? Well, no one dapat berubah overnight sayangs. Everything takes time. Kan? :)
I guess, manusia sikkan pernah dapat lari dari masalah dunia kecuali nya dekat dengan sang Pencipta. Maybe orang kedak aku tok sedang di coba.. Tapi the bible said : "..He will not allow the temptation to be more that you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so you can endure it.." (1 Corinths 10:13)
I'm holding on to this. I know my God and He loves me.
Good night. I'm feeling in need of spiritual motivation tonight. So this is what I wrote. Thanks for reading xo