I'm living my life.

This photo was taken by my cousin, Edwin. This is my father's house (well, our home) in Ba' Kelalan. I grew up in Lawas by the way and only visit "kampung" (village) once in a year. My father said it is important to have a big house since we have a very large family. I agree. 

My father obviously worked very hard to build this for us. I'm very proud of him. People keep saying that our house is too big. It is big but I don't think it is big enough for 7 kids plus grandchildren to stay in for school holidays. -___-" We only have 5 bedrooms anyway.

People who knows my father would say " you're lucky. You come from a wealthy family". Most of the time I would just smile as an answer. Why? They don't know. They only see things. They saw our houses. The knew about our properties and all. Trust me. Lawas is too small. So words go around very fast. But still, they don't know. When I was 7, I stayed in hostel just because Kid no 5 and 6 were there to take care of me while my parents went away to work. I never really stayed with my parents during my teenage years. When I went to high school, they sent me to stay in the hostel til I was 17 too. Why? We don't have a car. Bus or van's fee was expensive. Kid no 5 and 6 went to different school. So they need more money. I didn't complain though. At that age, I was happy cos I can spend more time with my friends.

Have I told you that my parents never celebrate my birthday? Well. That's the truth. I didn't care until the day I saw my friend's album. A picture of her (since she was a year old) up to that day, she always have her birthday photos. Memories. That's what I don't have. Then I realized. I'm living a different kind of life. Wealthy family? That's not how I see it. How can a wealthy family can't afford to celebrate birthdays? We're not poor either. We're just living our life. Just living it. 

I felt sad once a while thinking of all the memories I should have. The photos that I never took.

My parents work hard anyway. Birthdays aren't important. I told myself. I may not have the memories but I'm living a good, blessed, simple life, well, that's good enough. Therefore, when people praises our family, I only answer them with a smile. I have nothing to brag about. I have nothing to tell them. 

Today, I've made a promise. For my future children, I'm gonna make sure they'll have a plenty of memories of their childhood and I'm gonna be next to them all the way. Not that my childhood was bad. My parents have their ways, and I'm gonna have my own.

Another Sunday.

Here it comes again. Another Sunday.

I love Sundays. It's church day :) 1 out of 7, not too bad you know, to spend some quality time with the Creator. Would be nice if we can do 7 out of 7. But we can communicate with Him from time to time though, through prayers. Yep. Simple. Yet, it works.

Alright, we are celebrating Family Day today at church. Usually, when we have special occasions like Father's Day, Mother's Day, Children's Day, Pastor's Day and etc, our church members would try their best to come up with something interesting! ^^ What I like most is that we have goood foods at the end of the celebration! HAHAHA

So, service gonna start at 9 today. Here I am, talking about it. Alright, need to get up and dress up. Church is a 3 minutes walk from home anyway. 

Family Day oh Family Day. I can say I don't have a perfect family but I love them all. My parents and my 6 siblings! 6?? Oh yes! 6!!! I'll come back and tell YOU about how it felt like to live with 6 siblings of 4 brothers and 2 sisters!

Till then, Happy Sunday! And God bless you all xo

Crazy? I bet I am!

:D Sorry for cracking your PC's screen. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Friends : Those who means the world to me.

Friends. Best friends. Good friends. Close friends. New friends. Old friends. Childhood friends. Ex friends. And all kind of friends. 

I am a type of person who love having friends. The more friends i have, the merrier it would be. We have people we can talk to, share with, have fun with, travel with, and do lots of things. There is no reason for us to live alone, right? 

I have some close friends. Some best friends. These type of friends are very close to my heart. Once I love a friend, I will not trade it for anything. A Pisces love for their friends are unconditional i may say. And i believe that. 

One of my best friend in Donna. Someone i knew since I was 13. Yep. We're still friends. In fact, I just saw her yesterday. For me, Donna is someone that I can share a lot of things with. My joy, my pain, my dreams, my secret. I trust her. Up until today.

And I have Jean, who is married now and blessed with a beautiful baby boy, Julian. She's the most open minded, care free person i ever know. There's Lena. The one who got married too and now lived in another city so we seldom meet. Pamela. Is the petite little woman with a very warm, kind and beautiful heart. She's busy lately so we rarely see each other even when we live in the same town. Then, Stephanie. The one and only doctor among us. It's a shame that we only see each other during Christmas sometimes once in two years. She's working in Ireland for more than 5 years now so I can say that she changed a little but still, she's one of the pack. 

When we were 13, we were so crazy about Backstreet Boys. I was Mrs Nick Carter back then (LOL), Pamela was Mrs Howie D, Donna was Mrs AJ, our dear Dr. Stephanie was Mrs Brian Littrell and Maverlyn (a mother of 2) was Mrs Kevin! :D When I recall back all the memories, how priceless was our innocence. We still wish each other "happy birthday" on our dear boys' birthday! Just to remind how silly we were! :D

As we parted after high school, we remain close. Then i met a few new friends. Some of them I met when i was 18. I have a best friend that will always be my best friend which is my current boyfriend. In a few days we will be celebrating our 10th anniversary. 

When i went to university, I made more friends. My first best friend that I treasure is Shelley. She's like a sister to me. For 5 years, she's been the one who went through ups and downs with me. She's a lovely and helpful person. She's everyone best friends. Then comes Rozalia and Angie. We're like sisters. I love them dearly.

Along the way, I met Faizah and Teodora and Shasha in a very unexpected way, we become close. We were classmates but we never get to know each other better before. But now, I believe, we made a bonding that won't be easily break by anything.  ( I can't find Shasha picture)

Since I love my friends, I really wanna wish them well in their life. I wish they can read this and know that I appreciate them for being a part of my life cycle, to be a reason for me to smile and I am thankful for them for reaching out their hands whenever I need someone to hold on to. I love you guys and may we remain friends for eternity.

A Smile That Makes Me Say "I'm Melting".

You think i'm kidding? No i'm not. This man has the most contagious, warmest, beautiful, and honest smile i ever seen. I said "I" ever seen. I don't need you to agree with me though :P As Junsu (2PM) said it on Happy Together, "doesn't matter what you say, what matter is i feel good about it". So while i'm typing this, i'm giggling because i'm overwhelm to admit that GD, yes, G-Dragon of Big Bang has the hottest smile i ever seen that able to make me melt every single time i see his performances or interviews.

He's a wonderful leader. Full of charisma. Very confident, caring, super talented, and his ability to control and take charge of every situation is just amazing and yes, the smile, is just too pure and awful sexy. Naughty flirt kind of smile! Aww i think i can melt just by thinking of his smile. Too dramatic? HAHAHAHA :D

His smile is the best! God. Can't believe i am actually repeating myself. LOL But GD is just one amazing person. 

Most definitely a trend setter ;)

I used to put TOP as my number one favorite. Now it's GD. Sorry, TOP but you're still the sexiest!!!