GOTTA GO FOR THIS ONE DAY

THIS IS THE PLAN

My middle of February is kinda emotional :/

Gotta be my period day is approaching. 

Feeling emotional about everything I see, everything I feel, everything I hear.

Starting to blame God, which it TOTALLY ridiculous. (=..=)

I am really hoping for the best for myself in the future. 

Hoping for the best for you too.

The price of being a Grade A student. (Not me)

If I were given a second chance to go back to the past and fix mistakes, I would. 

Wouldn't it be nice? I would go back to the time I was at my laziest at school and smack my own head and say, "Go read book and study, silly! I know your future. You ain't going anywhere being lazy like this." Yeah. Maybe then, I would realize. 

For all my life, I always wanted to see the world. Being a Grade A student would've been a good help though. Got to travel on scholarship. Bahaha :P I would've pick overseas university instead of the local ones. Took medic instead of admin, engineering perhaps. *sigh* Was too sleepy during Math & Science class anyway.

Not like I don't appreciate what I am having now. But it would've been nicer to be able to live my young life that way. Learning about other culture, people and food within that period. Cause once you got older, at certain limit, all you can think of is commitment. Work. Family. You just can't feel the passion anymore.

So for those young people, don't give up trying. Give your best. Go out and see the world. If you ain't got money, you got scholarship :P  what you'll get back is EXPERIENCE and fun plus, a degree or a master some more. Go explore.

If you got the passion, but you're too lazy to study make sure you have a body of a model. Perhaps you can try to be an international "flight steward/stewardess" instead. That works too. 

As for me. I have not enough cash. Not a Grade A student. Not even eligible to apply as a flight stewardess too. So.......

Don't live with regrets like me :) Go out and PLAY!

**saying all this after seeing my doctor,childhood friend's photos who is currently living in Ireland :3

Have a nice day! xo

Hey 2013

Oh wow!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013!!!

Hey what's up all? Haha The last 3 months of 2012 were the busiest months for me. Couldn't even write anything here for you guys to read -,-

Well I got a job somewhere in Miri. A good company. We provide Internet connection (and yet I still can't find time to write)

And since I am away from home, I rented a room with a close friend. So, so far so good. Except the part my parents is pressuring me to go home.

will talk about it next time.

Bye.

P/S My boss is watching!!!!!

September yo!

oh wow! I'm here! Nobody misses me, i know. hahahaha

well so far i'm still unemployed. 'sall i can say ;p but life is good. Lots of things happened around me at the moment but i don't wanna say much about it.

anyway. i'll be back again soon ;)

 the conclusions for the past 'quiet' months are : 1/ jobless

                                                                      2/ love-less 

                                                                      3/ cashless

                                                                      4/ fat

                                                                      5/ still HAPPY :)

You Can Google Translate Me!

Where there is a will, there is a way! Right?

:)

Now you can read my entries by just simply click the Google translate button in the box on your right hand side.

Read it in any language you want. Sorry if my English is not that perfect but I'll keep it simple and understandable. Good enough, ey?

Well thank you Google!! 

The Story of My Heart Part II

This is Part II.

It's was a wonderful relationship. People around us would go "Hey! get married already!" or "It's about time for both of you to settle down". I felt awesome when people said that. I feel proud of myself. Not everyone can be in a relationship that long. If we just did what they asked us to do, I don't think this would happen. Don't you think?

But then again. Things happen. It's against our will. As much as I want to go on, I just can't because I'm just tired. Honestly. I got bored. I don't know. I just don't feel it anymore. I bet he felt the same way too. If he's not, he won't be asking for 'space'. We are having a long distance relationship, FYI, and it is so illogical for him to ask for MORE space than we are having now. So I decided to quit. It's pretty much easier. Nothing can be settle when we are far apart. All we do, every time we're having argument is avoid each other.

It has been that way for a very long time. I bet we both tried our best to just look over it and pretend like everything's fine when actually, our relationship was just about to break. We tried. We did. Just like everyone else.

Shits happen, they said. True.

Thinking of the dream I had last night. We were in a room, and I looked at him. We stare at each other and he moved away. He left. Yes, he left.

Even in a dream, we decided to end this. I bet there's no way that we will return back together in the future. If we do, it must be fate. If. The probability? Unknown.

I would really want to say 'thank you' to him for being there for me for the past 10 years. He's a great friend. The one who would listen to everything - my complaints, my nagging, my story, my jokes, my wishes, my dreams. THANK YOU.

And I am truly sorry this is how it has to end between us. I'm just glad it didn't end because of a third person anyway. But things are better this way for both of us. Let's live well and be healthy. If we can't be friends, it's okay. I don't think that would be a good idea too. 

Just take care. I loved you, and still I love you today. It takes time to make if fade away. 

South Korea

I have a thing for South Korea. The country fascinates me. The cultures. The foods. The islands. The buildings. The people. I just love them all.

Now when is the best time to visit Korea? *psstt definitely not during summer. -,- I had enough of summers. It's summer 365days a year in Malaysia anyway.

HAHAHA

Dear Koreans, let me know! ^^

I'm living my life.

This photo was taken by my cousin, Edwin. This is my father's house (well, our home) in Ba' Kelalan. I grew up in Lawas by the way and only visit "kampung" (village) once in a year. My father said it is important to have a big house since we have a very large family. I agree. 

My father obviously worked very hard to build this for us. I'm very proud of him. People keep saying that our house is too big. It is big but I don't think it is big enough for 7 kids plus grandchildren to stay in for school holidays. -___-" We only have 5 bedrooms anyway.

People who knows my father would say " you're lucky. You come from a wealthy family". Most of the time I would just smile as an answer. Why? They don't know. They only see things. They saw our houses. The knew about our properties and all. Trust me. Lawas is too small. So words go around very fast. But still, they don't know. When I was 7, I stayed in hostel just because Kid no 5 and 6 were there to take care of me while my parents went away to work. I never really stayed with my parents during my teenage years. When I went to high school, they sent me to stay in the hostel til I was 17 too. Why? We don't have a car. Bus or van's fee was expensive. Kid no 5 and 6 went to different school. So they need more money. I didn't complain though. At that age, I was happy cos I can spend more time with my friends.

Have I told you that my parents never celebrate my birthday? Well. That's the truth. I didn't care until the day I saw my friend's album. A picture of her (since she was a year old) up to that day, she always have her birthday photos. Memories. That's what I don't have. Then I realized. I'm living a different kind of life. Wealthy family? That's not how I see it. How can a wealthy family can't afford to celebrate birthdays? We're not poor either. We're just living our life. Just living it. 

I felt sad once a while thinking of all the memories I should have. The photos that I never took.

My parents work hard anyway. Birthdays aren't important. I told myself. I may not have the memories but I'm living a good, blessed, simple life, well, that's good enough. Therefore, when people praises our family, I only answer them with a smile. I have nothing to brag about. I have nothing to tell them. 

Today, I've made a promise. For my future children, I'm gonna make sure they'll have a plenty of memories of their childhood and I'm gonna be next to them all the way. Not that my childhood was bad. My parents have their ways, and I'm gonna have my own.

I Don't See Why

Second chance might sound acceptable. Most people would regret what they did or say. But third or more chances on the same thing or situation? I don't see why we need to. You see, second chance means second chance. You did wrong you got the second try to make it right? Like for third or more? Pfft You need to change or else. 

I don't see why we need to jump into someone else's business. Like it's not even related to you. And why would you be so busy saying this and that and make things worst. And I don't see why, some people would say bad things about others. Like thinking they're so perfect and all. I mean, I've been into situation when people bad mouthing me in my back while act innocent in my face. It's okay. I'm not a type of person that would want to attack someone like that anyway. I bet they regret it now since I pay no attention to them. The best way to attack them is with kindness. The need no fist or slap, they need love. HAHAHA

And I don't see why we need to treat animal badly. I am an animal lover. I can't see stray dogs or cats. It broke my heart. And in one situation, I heard about a religious man who just packed their kittens(4 of them) in a plastic bag and swing them into the river. I was like 'WTF?' His reason, they can't have more cats. But seriously, can't he just send them away to somewhere safe rather than killing them? It's just not right. I can't sleep the day I heard the news. I can't even look at the man's face without having the picture of him and the kittens.

I don't see why we need to work to gain cash! Argh. Can't we just stay at home and got paid? LOL I see the life of heiress like Paris Hilton is kinda cool when all you do is just spend cash. I'm doing teaching now and i'm like a replacement teacher. It's a job that requires skills and training and I have none so it is rather difficult for me to grab the attention of 7 years old kiddies. Struggling to make money they say. Oh yes it's true.

I have a lot more I don't know why questions in my head. If I go on, you'll get bored reading. 

Do you have any doubt? Or questions? Let me know. I'm out for now.

Lapar / Hungry

Mun lapa jam tok la paling molah otak bingong. -,- bingong mike makan ke sik. Mun makan, gemok. Mun sik makan stress. Argh.

Mun lapa mintak barang k anyang-anyang jak sikhal.. Tok mintak gik makan mi..apa reti perut tok bah? Tapi nak mi kolok la paling best.

Mun di Samarahan tek, dah agak dah stall burger kat simpang Bazaaria ya.. Mun sik pun kontek Teo mbak nya g makan mi or roti canai di kede Mamak or Siang-Siang. Ya rabi eh rindu bena ku ngan sidaknya time lapa macam tok. HAHAHA sik sangka rindu sebab lapa p logik lah sebab mun kat rumah sitok sikda orang nok sanggup neman makan mun dah masok jam kedak tok. Sigek gik boring mun makan sorang... :/

Ada paham? Translation :

I'm so hungry. Being hungry at this hour gives me headache. Should I eat or not? If I choose to eat, I get fat. If I don't eat, I get stressed out. Argh.

If I'm craving for something light would be okay. But my tummy is asking for noodles! What's up with this tummy? But "mi kolok" is the best though.

If I'm in Samarahan, I would have gone to the burger stall at the Bazaaria junction right now. Or else, would have called Teo so we can go for noodles or roti canai at Mamak or Siang-Siang. Gawd. I miss my friends at this hour. HAHAHA How funny it is to miss them when I'm feeling hungry but logically here, there's no one that want to accompany to eat at this hour already. Some more, it is kinda boring to eat alone.. :/

Therefore, alu rasa aku harus padah kat sitok. Cos I am going to bed with a moody tummy and will wake up early to have breakfast with mom and sister!

So good night!! :)

Another Sunday.

Here it comes again. Another Sunday.

I love Sundays. It's church day :) 1 out of 7, not too bad you know, to spend some quality time with the Creator. Would be nice if we can do 7 out of 7. But we can communicate with Him from time to time though, through prayers. Yep. Simple. Yet, it works.

Alright, we are celebrating Family Day today at church. Usually, when we have special occasions like Father's Day, Mother's Day, Children's Day, Pastor's Day and etc, our church members would try their best to come up with something interesting! ^^ What I like most is that we have goood foods at the end of the celebration! HAHAHA

So, service gonna start at 9 today. Here I am, talking about it. Alright, need to get up and dress up. Church is a 3 minutes walk from home anyway. 

Family Day oh Family Day. I can say I don't have a perfect family but I love them all. My parents and my 6 siblings! 6?? Oh yes! 6!!! I'll come back and tell YOU about how it felt like to live with 6 siblings of 4 brothers and 2 sisters!

Till then, Happy Sunday! And God bless you all xo

My Sarawak.

If you're wondering where on earth Sarawak is, HERE. I'm gonna provide you with a map that I have found on google ^^

What I love about Sarawak is definitely the multi-ethnic/racial society. In Sarawak, we have the Dayaks, Malays, Chinese, Indians,Orang Ulu, Melanau and a lot more. I am a Lun Bawang myself which is from the Orang Ulu group.You see Sarawak is a very colorful state :) 

During one of our Faculty Annual Dinner back in 2010, the theme for the evening was 1Malaysia in which me and my friends decided to wear our own traditional costumes. Check out some of the photos which I really love to see because it is so colorful!

Me in white and i'm wearing a Lun Bawang traditional costume :) And all of us are representing different ethnics. I'm loving this picture. <3

These people are actually my seniors. They are all wearing different costumes too. Weehoo!!

So that's me in white. Roza (next to me) is wearing her Iban traditional costume, Angie in her Kayan costume, Shelley in a Chinese cheongsam and both of my Malay friends are wearing Malays traditional costume which are the kebaya and baju kurung.

And this one, my friend Jill (skinny one) is wearing a Dusun traditional costume (or Kadazan? Please correct me if I'm wrong). Well, she's from Sabah. :) Her friend is wearing a Bidayuh (Dayak) traditional costume. Colorful right?

I have more pictures but the internet connection is pretty slow tonight :/

Sarawak is a cool place to visit i must say. Other than their wonderful costumes and multi racial society, we have different kind of food too. Some are exotic foods that you can never find in any other state or even country.To experience Sarawak, you must come to visit and see for yourself! :)

WE, Sarawakian welcomes you anytime!

Blogging in English?

Correct me if i'm wrong, blogging is for everyone right? Not that I heard negative things about how you need to be gifted to write your own blog but a lot of people tend to think that way. Isn't it? Like you need to have a perfection in some ways to write good entries. If you wanna write in English for instance, you need to be able to write PERFECTLY like making no mistakes in grammar and all. I mean, I'm not majoring in English when I studied in university, we don't converse in English at home and English is not the first language in my country too. BUT I am willing to try to say something for everyone to read, understood and can relate to. I don't see language as a barrier in blogging UNLESS you're writing in your own language .Like everyone are perfect at it. :) But not anyone can understand so it's shutting down the communication tunnel. And that's bad :/

If you notice, I'm only using simple English, I've made grammar mistakes here and there. You see MY entries are not perfect :) But I bet you understood what I'm saying right? *or you can't relate t all?* :/ Hmm not your fault. Maybe I need to practice more.

I'm blogging not because I want everyone to read, I'm doing this to express myself and to improve anything that I am lack of. Not everything you feel comfortable telling someone you know, sometimes, right? So here I am complaining, nagging, dreaming!! 

HAHA

So now peeps, don't hold back. Especially for people from countries where English is only used as second or third language. We can always try to express ourselves. People may criticized us with our imperfections just don't stop. We're improving us, ourselves, not them.

Keep blogging. Keep sharing.