A Tale of Me : Appreciated. Not.

How funny it is to hope for something to happen when in reality it's not going to happen. Maybe it's because I am a Pisces, I tend to dream a lot and I imagine things that I want to happen instead of living  in the reality world. When they said men are from Mars, women are from Venus, they really DID their homework on that. 

I don't think both sexes will EVER be able to understand each other. 

As I stated before, I am just a person who is living my life. If I put it on a graph, you won't see anything interesting. For 10 years, just like my birthdays, my boyfriend and I never celebrated our anniversary together. For 10 years, I only received a flower ONCE during Valentine's Day. On my birthdays as usual, I never got any birthday surprises or even a birthday cake.

Why? I just wonder why.

Am I not allowed to celebrate ANYTHING in my life? 

Is it because I am used to this, my boyfriend thinks that I wouldn't mind if we don't do anything special on a special day? (Or maybe he thought I should get my own cake or something?)

Well,I do mind. I wish someone would appreciate me. I wish for someone to do something special for me. I wish that I can have something that I can say and remember and keep as a memory. 

Am I complaining now? Maybe. I'm just. I don't know.. Not happy perhaps? Not satisfied? Or the world is just being unfair to me?

I lost my self confidence just because I think nobody thinks I'm special. No matter how well I did in my studies, no matter how loyal I've been in my relationship, no matter how many years I've tried to survive. In the end I just felt like the only person who would cheers for me is. ME.

Somehow, I may not win the affections and loves from people around me but it's okay. I can't go telling them to do something for me or even worse to tell them to appreciate me because wo~ho~hoo that is just - insane. 

I bet God listened and understood. I may lost my confidence but I believe He doesn't want me to give up no matter how hard the situation may become in the future. 

Hey, I still have to live for myself right? Nobody appreciates me? It's okay. I have ME.

I'm just saying.

Blogging in English?

Correct me if i'm wrong, blogging is for everyone right? Not that I heard negative things about how you need to be gifted to write your own blog but a lot of people tend to think that way. Isn't it? Like you need to have a perfection in some ways to write good entries. If you wanna write in English for instance, you need to be able to write PERFECTLY like making no mistakes in grammar and all. I mean, I'm not majoring in English when I studied in university, we don't converse in English at home and English is not the first language in my country too. BUT I am willing to try to say something for everyone to read, understood and can relate to. I don't see language as a barrier in blogging UNLESS you're writing in your own language .Like everyone are perfect at it. :) But not anyone can understand so it's shutting down the communication tunnel. And that's bad :/

If you notice, I'm only using simple English, I've made grammar mistakes here and there. You see MY entries are not perfect :) But I bet you understood what I'm saying right? *or you can't relate t all?* :/ Hmm not your fault. Maybe I need to practice more.

I'm blogging not because I want everyone to read, I'm doing this to express myself and to improve anything that I am lack of. Not everything you feel comfortable telling someone you know, sometimes, right? So here I am complaining, nagging, dreaming!! 

HAHA

So now peeps, don't hold back. Especially for people from countries where English is only used as second or third language. We can always try to express ourselves. People may criticized us with our imperfections just don't stop. We're improving us, ourselves, not them.

Keep blogging. Keep sharing. 

Dream, They Said.

They said, to achieve something you need to dream. Dream will make you set a goal or target and you will see it as something that you want to have or do. Therefore, we need to dream.

But I don't think that works for me. I mean. I am a dreamer. A super dreamer. Day and night. But my dreams are somewhat pretty ridiculous to be said or share (-..-')v HEH. I dream big. Bigger than you can possibly imagine right now. You can't never guess what's on my mind unless you're a PSYCHIC! Bahahahaha :P

They said, shoot for the moon and land among the stars?? (is this correct or I'm messing up with a popular saying?) But like seriously? -,- Are they out of their minds? That's impossible. *look who's talking* I mean. If you wanna dream you have to "agak-agak" la sikit nak.. Sik la alu mok UP giaa..Bahaya ya mun sik tercapai. What if you can't achieve it, can you settle for the second best? You need to think carefully before you set your aim. Gotta know your ability too right?

They said, you need to follow your dream. In my case, can I REALLY follow mine? Hmm As I mention before, my dreams are just ridiculous. So I am not sure if it is safe to be followed! hahahaha Yes. I need to "agak-agak" too. Mun sik mampu, sikboh mimpi di siang hari :'D At least la..we got something to say right? Like "Hey, I'm gonna go to Korea one day and I'm gonna have the 2PM boys to be my personal guide" <---- some of my ridiculous dream. LOLOL Now you see why my dreams are most likely to be the most impossible to happen? 

Anyway, they said, Dreams will come true. You know, they might be right at certain point. Like if you work hard enough you'll get what you want. But a dream without an effort, and most importantly asking God's blessing through prayers can lead to nothing. For me, personally, if i really want something I would just pray for it and let God decide whether it is mine to have or not. If it doesn't come my way means it's not the right time or I'm just asking too much. :D Like how can it be possible to ask Him to make sure I get married to GD and not my current boyfriend now? <---- #2 ridiculous dream. Hahahaha

Well what I want to say is. Set your aim. Dream. See your ability. Effort. Pray. And with God's will you'll get what you want :) And Patience. Yes, good things doesn't come rolling to you. No matter how long you need to wait, if you want it, it doesn't matter if it took you forever to achieve it right?

Hey. I'm just saying ;)