A Tale of Me : Appreciated. Not.

How funny it is to hope for something to happen when in reality it's not going to happen. Maybe it's because I am a Pisces, I tend to dream a lot and I imagine things that I want to happen instead of living  in the reality world. When they said men are from Mars, women are from Venus, they really DID their homework on that. 

I don't think both sexes will EVER be able to understand each other. 

As I stated before, I am just a person who is living my life. If I put it on a graph, you won't see anything interesting. For 10 years, just like my birthdays, my boyfriend and I never celebrated our anniversary together. For 10 years, I only received a flower ONCE during Valentine's Day. On my birthdays as usual, I never got any birthday surprises or even a birthday cake.

Why? I just wonder why.

Am I not allowed to celebrate ANYTHING in my life? 

Is it because I am used to this, my boyfriend thinks that I wouldn't mind if we don't do anything special on a special day? (Or maybe he thought I should get my own cake or something?)

Well,I do mind. I wish someone would appreciate me. I wish for someone to do something special for me. I wish that I can have something that I can say and remember and keep as a memory. 

Am I complaining now? Maybe. I'm just. I don't know.. Not happy perhaps? Not satisfied? Or the world is just being unfair to me?

I lost my self confidence just because I think nobody thinks I'm special. No matter how well I did in my studies, no matter how loyal I've been in my relationship, no matter how many years I've tried to survive. In the end I just felt like the only person who would cheers for me is. ME.

Somehow, I may not win the affections and loves from people around me but it's okay. I can't go telling them to do something for me or even worse to tell them to appreciate me because wo~ho~hoo that is just - insane. 

I bet God listened and understood. I may lost my confidence but I believe He doesn't want me to give up no matter how hard the situation may become in the future. 

Hey, I still have to live for myself right? Nobody appreciates me? It's okay. I have ME.

I'm just saying.

10th Anniversary And I'm Still Loving You.

Dearest boyfriend,


June 21st is a good day isn't it? :) It marks our 10th year together. I would like to thank you for being the most loyal, wonderful, loving, understanding and caring boyfriend to me!!! Saranghae <3


Dearest Boyfriend, 


For all the years we have spent together as boyfriend/girlfriend, I would be lying if i said it wasn't tiring. You know, when we have to take care of each other. Asking questions everyday. "Have you eaten?" "How's work?" "Did you take your medicines?" "Why did you spend so much on car accessories?" etc I KNOW that's how a relationship suppose to be, but knowing you since I'm 18 up until today was *Pheww! need a LOT of hard work. (Not that I mean you're a hard-to-take-care-of kinda guy) just that adjusting everything to make both sides happy is quite challenging. You know the 1st year I thought our relationship was just going to be MY experiment since I'm only dating Nick Carter in high school :'D and a few of non serious relationship which usually a one sided love. *No. You're wrong. I was the one who dumped them* And did not expect you're gonna stick THIS long! :')


My dearest Boyfriend,


I might be a very silly girlfriend to you. The one with the most rebellious attitude. The one that you just want to forget immediately during our stupid fights. The one you wish you never knew when I got crazy and attack you with harsh words. I have a different versions of expressing myself. I know, you got tired. But I know you won't give up that easy on me. Right? You knew me too well to let all that ruin everything. 


Boyfriend,


You are the second most patient person (after my father) in this world. Whenever I got mad, I got upset, I got depressed and dump it all on you, you would just take it and come back tomorrow with a better mood like it never happen. It pisses me off sometimes, because you make me look bad. (TT..TT) frankly speaking. 
When you did not contact me for a few days (usually when I told you not to) I got scared but I would tell myself  " Take that. That's what you want, and you got it" *I prepared well actually* HAHAHA but I know you always go soft for me right? *I hope I'm right or I'll kill you* :'D Well, I'm just glad you *usually* admit that everything was your fault (EVERYTHING) so relationship is saved. Once again.
The fact that we treated each other like friends might be one of the factors that keeps us together. We fought like friends and it strengthen our relationship more instead of breaking us apart. :)


Dear Boyfriend,


I know we have gone through a lot together. Since our family accepted our relationship well now *after keeping it a secret for 8 years* I think it is about time for us to start a family ;) What about in 2-3 years from now? I think I'm done being single. 


P/S Dearest boyfriend, if you're reading this can you get a little bit romantic sometime? You're pretty lame and lack of skills in making a girl happy. Learn from GD. He's goooood.


And boyfriend, thank you for being my best friend, my right hand and my angel. You're the best boyfriend ever and I wouldn't ask for more from you. Thank you for loving me from the first day we met until today.
Pie, I love you and let's get it going.